Writing

Writing for me has always been somewhat of a difficult task.  I suppose not so much the writing part but just finishing the original idea I started.  On my Mac, I have two folders for my writing,

1) Those that are completed

and 2) Those in progress.

Needless to say my in progress folder probably has 200 word documents with really inaccurate file names like, ‘tea time’, ‘Starbucks’ or ‘Fucked Dreams’.  When I go back and look through them I understand the original idea but some how end up getting lost in the mess of words that fell there after.

Sometimes I feel it necessary to actually open some and attempt to finish them; yet I always feel as though I’m rushing it.  I never feel like the golden idea has dropped and in turn it seems as though I’m faking it in a way.

I think its funny because this document will most definitely go in the ‘in progress’ folder.  Never to see the light of day -for at least 6 months.

Tonight I post this and it literally has been 6 months.

Back Off Get Your Own Bagel

Once upon a time, three years ago to be exact, I sit in my Grade 12 law class when our teacher Mr. Morris sends a neighboring student and myself on a run to Tim Horton’s.

Waiting in the endless queue we finally place our order, waiting for my teachers bagel a man in a suit buts in front of me taking the next sandwich that I believed to be his.  When the attendant passes me mine I notice that it’s the wrong one.  The woman simply says the man must have taken mine. Not offering to replace it, I turn to the door pissed from the poor service with intent to fix this issue.

Mr. Morris is getting his bagel, I tell myself and lurk the parking lot for the asswhole who took it.  Suddenly I see him in his car leaving the parking lot.  After a short sprint I run to his car banging on the side of his doors for him to stop.  He opens the window and I say “ THAT’S MY BAGEL!”, as I grab it out of his hand in return throwing his back in.

So lesson for anyone in the future who thinks they can get away with swapping sandwiches; I will find you!

Jamie Foxx is an Asshole

Jamie Foxx is an asshole.

Post By Sam Fro( Jacksonville, Florida)
I fancy myself a responsible person. I work more than two jobs, go to school, keep a social life, work with my parents and keep it real -all at the same time.  However, I recently found myself with a full two days off from everything and instead of lounging and relaxing, I completely destroyed myself.

Do you ever have moments like that? Where you know you’re making the worst decision for yourself, but you’re kind of just like, “Eh. Fuck it.”? I didn’t just drink. I didn’t just smoke. Instead I inhaled alcohol. I probably gave myself cancer. I was naked more than anyone should ever be, and with no regret or shame. In the moment, I felt great.

On the other hand, the next morning, when you’re hungover and everyone is reminding you of how you thought the Truffle Shuffle was the coolest dance move, and how you skipped out on a threesome because, “I’m just too classy for muff diving” , while you’re praying to god the poorly decided Taco Bell combo doesn’t make a cameo appearance in the toilet, you start to hate yourself more and more.

I went back to work with a hangover that felt like crucifixion and a nausea that was definitely related to the second trimester drink baby in my stomach. But I like my job. I like my life. With a few moments of extreme disagreement with my parents and a completely FUBAR sleep schedule, everything is under control. So why do I do it? I think it’s because I’m a naturally self-destructive person with fear of failure. I push myself to extreme limits just to see if I can take it. Or maybe I’m bullshitting myself into a more profound reason, instead of stating what may be alcoholism. Who knows?

What’s the craziest thing you’ve done while intoxicated?
Why do you do it?
Do you think I have a problem?
Do you think YOU have a problem?

FarmVille Fucked?

Ok So I have a question.  What the fuck is FarmVille?

Like at first I believed it was some facebook game but then I started seeing photo albums of FarmVille friends.  Am I to understand that people create FarmVille accounts and then add other ‘animal friends’ who are in reality just other ‘real’ facebook friends?  Then finally taking pictures together as you are an Animal because you need some new pictures with your friends?  And we do this because we can’t see our friends in real life so a Farmville photo is the next best thing?

I really hope I don’t end up being a hypocrite and end up with an account next week.

Druken Exploartion

I was only 15, I should have been in English class but instead found myself across the table from Kathleen, the only other Canadian in town. We were both in the small French city of Saumur for the next three months, together on exchange.

After one too many beers and a repulsive amount of Marlboro lights, it was suffice to say we were drunk. It only being 2:30 in the afternoon we see the old Theatre across the street calling to us. Still functioning, we sneak in the back door, past the Tourist info centre and up a set of stairs. Making our way across a studio with floorboards missing everywhere we find a ladder. Pulling our drunken bodies up the ladder we make our way onto the catwalk above the stage. All of the sudden we turn the corner and we are face to face with some French man. Stopped dead in our tracks, motionless, he simply explains there is a play going on so we have to be quiet.

He should have told us to leave; eventually we made our way to the dressing rooms. Inside said dressing rooms we find chocolate bars, cookies and juice. Our poor integrity enabled us to help ourselves fleeing with snacks in hand.

Later that month the principle threatened to send us home if we continued to ‘escape’ from school. Escaping was a necessity and what we felt to be our right- we never got caught again.

Life Altering Experience

Salvia or Salvia Divinorum,  is a psychoactive herb which can induce strong dissociative effects.  It is a herbaceous perennial in the mint family and has a long continuing tradition of religious use by indigenous Mazatec shamans, who use it to facilitate visionary states of consciousness during spiritual healing sessions.

Need less to say some friends and I decided to smoke salvia this week.  This being my second time trying it we decided to get the 200x strain, which came in raspberry flavor.

This experience I am about to describe is perhaps the most profound, terrifying and enlightening experience I think I will ever have in my whole life.

To begin I take the hit, the numbness taking over my body instantly.   Melissa begins laughing saying, “Do you see the boxes”.  Everything appeared to take on the shape of blocks, almost like a lego world.  Here is where my consciousness stops.  “The boxes, do you see the boxes”, was all I could remember hearing, over and over again.  I was then ripped from the living room strung up high on this gigantic red faced clock.  I was a block on the perimeter with others connected to me circling around up and down.  It felt like I was being painted and could feel the curves and shape of the clock tear my back as we circled.  Each time I would reach the bottom I would hit the ground with an enormous crash, and then be pulled back up to fall again.

What was so terrifying about this trip was that I had actually believed life as I had known it was over- that the boxes were what life was and that this clock I was circling around was my ‘Real Life’.  All I could hear was echoing noises in my head telling me this was the answer.  It was as if discovering the boxes were my ticket to understand the World. Everything in my life up until now was ultimately meaningless.  In my mind at the time, my family didn’t exist, nor did Melissa and I was no longer on earth.  It was as if my entire life was just part of this fabric that in reality had no existence.

I Hate Fox News

Twitter

Among all social networking sites, when I heard of twitter and its concept of continuos status updates I barfed in my mouth.  

I mean who would want to read these self righteous idiots  pointless banter.

Perhaps it’s my failure to say no to technology or my inherent obsession with the lives of people I don’t even know.  Either way I have crumbled and got an account- its actually really funny- mostly people just posting ridiculous quotes ect.

Needless to say if you don’t have one you should get one.

Welcome to the United Colours of Romulus

Last night Melissa, Ryan and I find ourselves so bored that we decide to create our own country.  Looking into our booklet today this is what we found;

*Country- United Colours of Romulus

*Capital City- Godiva

*Government- Utilitarian Socialists

*Laws

No Prisons Only Deportation

Deportation for;

-Rape, Murder, Arson, Animal Cruelty and Finally Treason

* Note we decided we would take over Portugal in place of our New country.

Snack Wrap

The other night Melissa and I find ourselves baked after a long day of work.  We had just finished meeting up with some of Melissa’s friends in Pine Crest .  The night ended with a group of guys driving to Kingston at 11pm- hoping to make last call.
After dropping off Milan we head to the closest McDonald’s.  In the drive thru, Melissa attempts to order.
“Can I have every snack wrap you have, fries and a milk shake”.  This is what I ordered; however with little success as the combination of our fogginess and laughter made it difficult for the operator to interpret.  Needless to say the Big Mac Snack Wrap was way better than anticipated.  I’m proud to say I have tried them all.